Think back to your junior high or high school days. What group were you in? What group did you want to be in? Can you recall a time when you felt not just “in” but had a strong sense of others approving of what you had done, what you were wearing, or what you said? You probably did not use the word “honor,” but that is what your peers did—they honored you. We could say that what the group affirmed is what it considered honorable. How about the opposite, can you recall a time when you did not wear the right clothes, did the wrong thing, or said the wrong thing? Can you recall a time when you, or your whole group, were excluded or looked down upon by another group? In those moments you likely felt shame. If you made a list of behaviors that a group encouraged or discouraged, that would be the group’s honor code. All societies have some expressions of an honor-shame dynamic, others are saturated with honor-shame dynamics. That was the case in the cultures we find in the Bible.
In a sense we could say, that in contrast to my high school experience of peer pressure in parts of my life, all of life in the New Testament world was lived within the dynamics of honor and shame. From birth people were shaped to be concerned about what others thought of them and to live out what others see as honorable. To compare honor-shame cultures to my high school experience is not imply they are less developed. All societies have means of influencing people to embrace and live out the values of that society. More individualistic cultures use means of influence that are different, but not more advanced or better than collectivist honor-shame cultures.
Let’s return to high school peer pressure but imagine it in a bit different way. What if rather than various groups having different values and standards, most everyone’s definition of desirable behavior and appearance was the same except for one small group that did the opposite and refused to dress like everyone else. When there are various groups, people have more space to live differently without shame. But imagine the ridicule and shame this handful of teenagers would experience if everyone else in the high school shared values and behaviors that this group did not live out. That captures the experience of Christians in the first-century Roman world. Although it was a diverse society, in broad swaths of life most people shared a common conception of what was honorable, who had high status and who did not. Like high school groups, society shamed and excluded people who did not comply. Their motivation to shame and pressure others was especially great in areas people sensed that dishonorable behavior threatened the peace and security of the town or city—like not participating in religious and cultic practices.
David deSilva, author of Honor, Patronage, Kinship, and Purity: Unlocking New Testament Culture, invites us to imagine the immense shaming pressure a group of 30 Christians would have felt as they adopted definitions of honorable behavior in tension with those held by the other 150,000 people in Ephesus. Biblical writers recognized this reality; deSilva states that New Testament authors spend significant amounts of their letters shoring up Christians suffering from shame, exclusion, and pressure from the dominant society. The apostles do not simply hand down a list of rules for living the way of Jesus. They work to develop an alternative court of reputation that affirms and honors Christians for following the way of Jesus and offsets the shame they feel in the societal court of reputation.
Let us learn from the example of the New Testament authors. It is not enough to simply make pronouncements about the way of Jesus. Let us take more seriously the ways societal “peer pressure” pulls people away from the path of Jesus.
First, like New Testament authors, we must recognize ways the honor code of society differs from the honor code of Jesus. Think for instance of how advertisements seek to honor some actions and shame others, and how they are in tension with Kingdom values; or, how social media peer pressure shapes behavior. Of course, like different groups in high school, different social media tribes will have different values or honor codes. Think of who is honored with high status in your societal context and what behaviors and attitudes that reinforces. Many of you live in settings where greater respect is given to those who affirm an individualistic do-your-own-thing spirituality and morality than to those who identify as Jesus followers and attend a church.
It is not enough, however, to just recognize the competing honor codes. Let us also follow the New Testament authors in actively building an alternative court of reputation. To not do so would be like a high school group that stated how their values differed from other groups but did nothing to affirm those who complied or shame those who did not. If no status is gained, if one does not feel more sense of being “in,” why embrace the values?—especially if another group would shame you for those behaviors.
What are ways we can, in a centered way, more regularly honor and affirm people for following Jesus and going against the current? What are regular practices your Christian fellowship might adopt to counter the shaming pressures people feel to go with the current? I urge you to join me and pray for the Spirit to guide you to see opportunities this week to affirm others for their against-the current actions and attitudes.
1 Apollos Watered Podcast, #195, David deSilva July 25, 2023, minute 30. https://apolloswatered.org/episode/195-are-we-living-for-biblical-honor-or-worldly-success-pt-1-david-desilva/ I recommend deSilva’s book, Honor, Patronage, Kinship, and Purity, and the podcast.